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  • Writer's pictureFHMCC

Through Hell And Back...


Family, Friends, Enemies, and Acquaintances…


I have friends that would rush to my aid before 95% of my family ever would…


I have secret enemies that are sadly in the other 3 categories…


I would rather have an enemy tell me to my face, they can’t stand me and give me the reasons why than have lukewarm family, friends, and acquaintances smile to my face and then talk smack behind my back…


I’m writing this after an epiphany I had last night while hauling around a group of AMAZING ladies on the Motor Coach for our friend’s bachelorette party..


I knew all of them except for 2 out of the 10 and had the pleasure of speaking with 1 of the 2 at the end of the evening..


She continued singing the praises of FHMCC regarding everything we did for Northridge during our 8-year adventure there and such. I started to go deeper and explain why the Motor Coach looks the way that it does and why the SHOCKING PG-13 approach, and why you will hear me cuss and see me openly drink Bourbon and smoke cigars…


Saved people will say, “You’re not ACTING like a Christian”… Well, for starters, God is not looking for actors… Real people want to interact with REAL PEOPLE and not some fantasy land crap where church folk are on their best behavior for a couple of hours on Sunday, and anywhere else during the week while in the public eye..


I have an uppity Christian cousin that told me for years I was going to Hell for drinking, only to find out she drives 3 counties over where nobody knows her and buys her weeks’ worth of wine..


I know 3 Worship Leaders from large churches in Dayton, Chicago, and Los Angeles that use the F-bomb like a second language behind closed doors…


I know of another divorced Worship Leader in and around the Dayton area that is banging a divorced ministry leader while thinking they are slick, but I know SO MANY PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, ya may wanna be a little more careful having sleepovers in your apartment complex…


I know widowed preachers struggling with porn as well as married pastors that have the same struggles..


I helped yet another lonely widowed preacher that got set up and blackmailed because he had a moment of weakness and sent a picture of Mr. Winky to some hawt young thing that contacted him from New York..


I know a Pastor that was on the verge of disowning his own child for dating someone outside of their race…


I know another Pastor that was physically and mentally abusive to his wife of 20 some years but would not once admit guilt for the demise of their marriage..


I know a Sunday school teacher that told a kid not to join the track team because it was co-ed and it would cause them to lust, all the while he had cheated on his wife multiple times throughout the years..

The tragedy here is that I could KEEP GOING with story after story that I have witnessed in just 11 years and 9 months of this circus called “Ministry”…


The stories above are from peeps within different denominations, including Baptist, Pentecostal, Church of the Nazarene, Methodist and Non-Denomination.


I am NOT judging them whatsoever and I will take this info with me to the grave! All but 1 or 2 of them are decent people that simply had a weak moment or moments and they genuinely love Christ..


Nope, not judging one bit… I’ll be the FIRST to admit that one of my biggest stumbling blocks is being divorced at 47 and now only 51… Sexual temptation in all of its beautiful flavors is my greatest challenge and obstacle. The only difference is I am 100% transparent an honest about it… I will NOT hide behind closed doors and give you the false illusion that I am something I am not, like most others do… I am a sinner saved by grace that will win some battles and lose some battles and I lose a lot of friggin battles let me tell you! But this too is just a season… A chapter that will pass as God walks me through it..


Now back to the conversation I was having with the teacher: Why does the Motor Coach looks the way that it does and why the SHOCKING PG-13 approach, and why you will hear me cuss and see me openly drink Bourbon and smoke cigars…


Welp for starters, saying shit, drinking alcohol and an occasional cigar, are NOT sins… Alcoholism is the sin and I am not an alcoholic..


Number 2, is that lost people have become blind to Christ and the church… Regular church busses travel the American roadways weekly by the MILLIONS and nobody notices or bats an eye.. Church buildings might as well be invisible… Lost people pass them by the hundreds every week without giving it a single thought, let alone just showing up outta the blue to see what it’s all about..


It's a damn shame that 24% of the Southern Baptist Churches out there had NO BAPTISMS last year!


In America, more churches are closing every month than opening and we are now a post-Christian Nation in decline where now only 64% of Americans claim Jesus as their God and half or more of that number are only Christian by name only… They rarely, if ever, attend a service, or read their Bibles and their prayer life only exists when life throws them a curve ball..


So why is Heavy Metal Church the way it is?


It’s all SMOKE and MIRRORS… It’s a TROJAN HORSE… A sleight of hand magic trick…


A regular church bus goes down the freeway and it might as well be invisible… Ours goes down the freeway and it slows down traffic because people want to take pictures…


I mean, HOLY HELL, Gene Simmons’s Personal Assistant came out to see what it was all about and was snapping pictures… He said that he had walked away from Christ for years because of a childhood of bad experiences with Christians and his childhood Baptist Church… he said he is back with Christ now and to keep doing what we are doing the way we are doing it because it is truly reaching people!


Not to mention we had a salvation that night while doing FREE FACE PAINTING for the KISS fans… Can ANY other Church say that? NOPE…


You must catch a fish before you can clean it right? That is all FHMCC is… A fishing lure…


Once we get them to the Motor Coach or in through the doors of our Gathering Place, it is then they will hear the Gospel of Christ in a non-threatening and non-judgmental way…


I explained everything to that teacher last night and she said, she was so glad we had this talk because, before this conversation, she too was skeptical of Heavy Metal Church and me… Wondering if it was a cult or a true Christ-following movement… Wondering if I was a cult leader or a legitimate Christ follower…


I simply said, I am not “fishing for Christians, nor do I care what they think”… Why? Because they are ALREADY CAUGHT…


A traditional church bus and church building DOES NOT ATTRACT TODAY’S LOST PERSON… If I am wrong, why isn’t YOUR church growing in numbers?


I love to hear BIG churches say, “We had 250 salvations over Easter Weekend”…


No you didn’t… You had maybe 248 re-dedications from back sliders that were chasing their tail in the desert and it goes the same with your baptisms..


We have had 60 salvations at our new Gathering Place since being there for just 5 months now.. 60 people that have NEVER asked Jesus into their lives before.. 60 signatures of FRESH INK in God’s Book of Life… 60 eternities changed…


The teacher said she was so happy to hear all of this, and she’s glad we spoke because now she was no longer skeptical of me or this crazy thing called the First Heavy Metal Church of Christ…


And now my whole point of writing this… This woman and I were perfect strangers and as a Christian, she cared enough to ask….


I look at this bullshit Facebook Friend’s Listlist of a so-called 2.6 THOUSAND people consisting of family, friends, enemies and acquaintances… For those of you who CLAIM to be a Christian, why have you let me go 11 years and 9 months without getting the behind-the-scenes nitty gritty of what this has been all about for all of these years? I had one cousin apologize because he had judged me harshly, disowned me and said, “Brian, is going to Hell”..


People that are supposed to love and care for me chose to gossip and talk about me behind my back in closed circles..


In many ways, this Freak Show Circus called Heavy Metal Church has destroyed my life… That is one of the reasons I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is the REAL DEAL… It has affected everything that I hold dear in my life NEGATIVELY in some way, shape, or form… It has hurt my physical health as well as my mental health… It has cost me severed relationships and I have more enemies now than I have ever had in my entire life, times 1000… Even more confirmations as to why this is the REAL DEAL..


If you pull back the curtain, my beliefs, as far as the Gospel, and what it actually means to be saved and get to Heaven, all line up with a Pentecostal and Baptist Sammich… I just omit the slight doctrinal differences that will not even matter in the end.. We drop the phony fluff and are real and transparent people with real problems who love Jesus and we cuss a little..


I refuse to be fake or be someone different behind closed doors.. Nope! You wil get me at 100 Proof, 24/7 365 days per year and if you don’t like it or me, that is completely fine! Just don’t be fake about it..


When actual Satan worshippers, Wiccans, Atheists and Agnostics come to know Jesus all because they were intrigued by a “Pastor” that wears Iron Maiden T-shirts, smokes, drinks and cusses, do you REALLY THINK I care what you think?


Not to mention 1,081 River Baptisms and HUNDREDS upon HUNDREDS more salvations when we do events throughout the year.. Brian Smith could have NEVER done all of this… Not even close… So BEWARE to all of the Frozen Chosen out there that want to slander and judge me to Hell.. Until you get off your asses and start adding your own FRESH INK to God’s Book of Life and teach me a more effective way to do it in the process, zip your lips and stay in your own lane…


There is no going back for me now. I have come too far and I have finally accepted it..







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